Benign?

Just got diagnosed with something called Benign Positional Vertigo. Why it’s got the word “benign” in it, I don’t know. It certainly is not benign. I guess there must be a greater one. I get random dizzy attacks and the occasional headache. Everything would be cool except that I have to take off a week from track. Wonder how coach is going to take that: “What? A week?” I hope it doesn’t affect my times when I come back. What am I supposed to do, just stand there watching everyone else run? Yeah that’s going to be fun…

A Dialogue Between the Soul and Body

i feel dizzy. i have to go to track practice. to make it worse, i have to walk to track practice. the dizziness comes and goes especially after i eat. i’m praying it’s nothing too bad. we read a poem the other day in lit class: A Dialogue Between the Soul and Body, by a guy named Marvell.

Soul O Who shall, from this Dungeon, raise A Soul inslav’d so many wayes? With bolts of Bones, that fetter’d stands In Feet ; and manacled in Hands. Here blinded with an Eye ; and there Deaf with the drumming of an Ear. A Soul hung up, as ’twere, in Chains Of Nerves, and Arteries, and Veins. Tortur’d, besides each other part,1 In a vain Head, and double Heart.Body O who shall me deliver whole, From bonds of this Tyrannic Soul? Which, stretcht upright, impales me so, That mine own Precipice I go; And warms and moves this needless Frame: (A Fever could but do the same.) And, wanting where its spight to try, Has made me live to let me dye. A Body that could never rest, Since this ill Spirit it possest. Soul What Magic could me thus confine Within anothers Grief to pine? Where whatsoever it complain, I feel, that cannot feel, the pain. And all my Care its self employes, That to preserve, which me destroys: Constrain’d not only to indure Diseases, but, whats worse, the Cure: And ready oft the Port to gain, Am Shipwrackt into Health again. Body But Physick yet could never reach The Maladies Thou me dost teach; Whom first the Cramp of Hope does Tear: And then the Palsie Shakes of Fear. The Pestilence of Love does heat : Or Hatred’s hidden Ulcer eat. Joy’s chearful Madness does perplex: Or Sorrow’s other Madness vex. Which Knowledge forces me to know; And Memory will not foregoe. What but a Soul could have the wit To build me up for Sin so fit? So Architects do square and hew, Green Trees that in the Forest grew.

my dialogue would be more like this:

soul: come on Body, don’t give up now. we can catch the stars together!

body: easy for you to say, you only have to dream, i have to do the work

soul: bu you do enjoy running don’t you?

body: i do, but look at what it has cost me: fractures… pain.

soul: ah body, you can never keep up with me. why are you so weak?

body: maybe it’s you who always dreams up things that are too impossible.

That’s my dialogue. I really wish my body could keep up with my soul…

—-

It’s at times like this that I want to give up. I just want to go to the doctor and say, “here, find anything that hurts. find the pain because I hide it to keep running. when you find it give me a note addressed to my coach.” I don;t want to sound emo, but it’s true

wait…

I think the dizziness is fading away. i’ll sleep for a while and then walk to practice.

1st Meet

I have my first track meet of the season this Thursday. I’m running the 100m and the 200m. I’m really scared. I mean there are so many ways things could go wrong: I fall on my face, I throw up after the race, I start too early, I get DQed…

This isn’t my real 1st meet. I had some meets last season, but I was doing long distance. In long distance you just start the race, cut into the inside fast and you run. That’s it. But in short, you have the blocks, fewer people, a lane all to yourself.  What really bugs m e are the starting blocks.

Take your mark. I got that one

Get set.  Still all right

Pause in between “take your mark” and “Go!” I start twitching. I automatically expect the “go!” so I twitch and I  go a little forward. Then I have to go back and as I’m going back to the correct position, I hear the “go!”. I lose time that way.